why are you here?
You see these things we do and say it’s all bullshit. The way we walk around as humans taking in the sites, smiling and looking like we give a crap man. It’s all a joke. So many different levels of mask we put on each day to then go out there and what? Live? Hardly. I mean look at something like music choice or taste. The idea of musical taste is so crazy with so many people in the world. How can you even see the point that what I like VS what you like are two completely separate worlds how can it be of any consequence? And yet we go out there day after day walking the same streets, seeing the same people trying to accomplish the same goal as yesterday and the same goal as our boss wants but we’re all individual. How does that even work? I mean we have highly complex neural networks, we have consciousness and free will right? Or is it really free? Maybe it’s not. Maybe the “choice” you and I have and make are the same thing, the same illusion. We have the same musical taste because that’s what’s made for us like mothers milk. You gotta look at it from both sides of the coin to get the whole picture. I mean musical taste, what even is it? Some oedipus construct brought to us from feeding time in a nursery? One of my earliest memories is my aunt driving me and my cousins around blasting guns and roses. I tell you when it came to make my choice at the cd rack I was bad boy for life. What does that say? It can and can’t be early exposure. We have to be open to know what doors to close. If a man spends all his days to ‘walk the earth’ like Caine does he get anything accomplished other than getting his feet dirty? I mean you could have it your way we all could, Society tells us to work together and yet we have to separate ourselves from the pack to better ourselves, how does that even add up? I’ve known a lot of illusions in my time and no I’m not talking about Copperfield or David Blane, I’m talking about the wool over the eyes stuff. Maybe free choice aint what it’s cracked up to be. As cynical as that sounds, if you ask someone who’s over 35 they’ll tell you the truth of how it actually ends up out there. The real world, what choice do we have? About the same choice in what music we listen too I suppose. And even then if you tell yourself, ‘it’s not like that’ or that ‘you have to have hope’ you have to take a look out your window man, get away from that mirror. See what’s going on out there then you can ask yourself. Yup, it’s real interesting if you think about it. Take a spider it works its whole existence to build a web where it thinks the food will be. It toils. It crafts with more skill than you and I have, don’t get me wrong, maybe you’re a great sewer of webs I don’t know, I do know you didn’t dedicate your life to it but he did. It’s the whole reason he wakes up in the morning because apparently it wants to live. So it makes this web it thinks will bring it food and it could be in the corner of your pantry or something. I don’t know if people still have panties, but anyway it’s there. It works hard and makes a web worthy of a great feast and then it waits, and waits, and waits. After a while you know what happens? It dies of starvation, why? Because of one choice it made. Now granted I don’t know what level of free will spiders have but I imagine it’s not a lot they think more with their gut but one mistake and you’re out. Craw across the wrong floor, splat! Done. And you know what it’s like, society. Think about it, the meals go to the privileged few who pick the top spots. These other spiders are dying, drowning in drains and eaten by cats, just like in the real world. And that’s why teamwork is an illusion no matter how much society tells us we need it, it’s still survival of the fittest but then why even bother? You know it’s all a predetermined path of mediocrity, shitty vacations and bills and then you’re dead and everyone is picking through your crap and wondering why you lived like this and making mental lists of what not to do for their lives. So anyway, why are you here again?”
“I-I-was called in for an interview.” a very nervous reply.
“a what? Oh ya is it 2:30 already? Well I don’t know, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure I just talked myself out of it.” a sardonic smile as he rises.
“sorry about the waste or time.” a dry handshake “better luck next time eh?”
Meekly “Th-thanks i suppose.”
“there you go.” a tight smile as the door opens and closes noisily. He sits and presses the red button on his intercom.
“Mary, have my appointments cleared for the day will you? I’ve got some rather important meetings with Mr. Green at the back 9 thanks.”
A tinny affirmative as a cigarette is lit and a pair of legs in dark brown loafers are crossed on the desk while an executively luxurious chair is reclined.
